Needjee

Next weekend I will be adopting Needjee, a 6-month old Peruvian Inca Orchid (dog). I am excited. Every molecule is telling me that he will lead me to a better understanding of albatrossism.

My family, friends, aren't very enthused about it. Why would I want another dog? Don't I have enough? My answer is if you can't empathize with my happiness, or you aren't interested in the deeper story, don't go out of your way to belittle it. Frankly it's a waste of both of our time. I have learned to ignore the near-obsessive needs of people to direct my journey through life, and it really doesn't do much to enhance my opinion of those who do engage in this in it.

One of the most powerful lessons I have learned in life is that I don't need to explain or justify who I am to anyone. For the most part, they are not interested unless there is some remote connection to how it will have an impact of anything more than neutral on their own lives. ... the albatross effect. How is it that anything you do will put a crimp in my style?

On my good days, I rationalize that you have no right to dictate what I do based on your own absolute comfort. On my bad days, I just want to disappear so to minimize the discomfort I bring to all who know me.

The albatross effect has a number of hypotheses attached to it that seem to have been validated over time. 1. No one is interested in who you are or what you do unless it affects them directly. So the less they know about you the better for both parties. 2. If interest is feigned, first assess the situation to determine the truthfulness of the interest. Then share the absolute minimum to make sure attention is not sparked by a presumed unwillingness to share. 3. Always tell the truth ...

Init

In the beginning.....What can I say except so many untaken roads, but then by this point in someone of my age, there are bound to be. I am where I am, no regrets, looking for where I can complete the circle, listening, watching for the clues.

If there has been a theme it is that of the Ancient Mariner's albatross. After so much time as the flightless, ungainly and often dead bird around the necks of people who mean something to me, I choose to back away from falling into that role. But it still happens, despite my best efforts. Like the albatross, I just want to be, not extinct, but in the background so some bored sailor won't see me and beat me to a pulp.

This may sound a little off to a normal, but to those who live in constant pain it may resonate, sound healthy, compassionate. After all, who wants to listen to someone complaining about something beyond their terms of reference and their control? Keeping the pain to myself, carrying on regardless and albatross avoidance... it does generate a sense of pride and the illusion of control.